1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.
This consecration journey may take several scriptures and prayers to really sink in. As I read this I get it, it's cool who care about the way you look, God sees the heart. However, there is still this feeling of dissatisfaction that tells me, you don't like your weight and you will always have to be mindful of your fat hanging out or looking plump in photos, and you don't want to live that way. You want to be able to not think about your looks at all because you're neither dissatisfied with them or thinking about them.
That sounds easy enough but deep down I know that if I looked the way i wanted i'd be totally consumed with my beauty. Beauty or virtuosity. It's exactly what I went through with joy or happiness, and I realize all I can do is ask God to reveal to me what living life inside out looks like. What is to get up get dressed, look exactly the way God made me with no enhancements, not look into a mirror and not step on a scale every morning and be secure in God not secure in my looks?
God does not want us to be insecure at all, but he also does not want us to be secure in this false idea of a positive self-image. Its about saying completely skip all the talk of self image and go straight to the soul. So maybe it's not my weight or skin that bothers, maybe i'm still not whole and am not secure in my relationship with God enough to where I am completely sustained. Maybe I still have a percentage of me that has not completely let go to abide in Christ so I'm still depending on the way I look to compensate me for which I am lacking.
Phillippians 4:11-13 says I am not telling you this because I need anything. I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens. I know how to live when I am poor and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at anytime in everything that happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hungry, when I have more than I need and when I do not have enough. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
This means that no matter what, I have to be oblivious to my outer appearance and situation and live completely at the core at all times. I must be aware of the state i'm in, but for no other reason that to make sure that I am using the situation to serve God in whichever way he wants to use me. But no matter what I am satisfied because I am rich in the core. SO how do I become rich in the core?
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